Sherry A. Phillips

Suspense Author

Are You Living In No Man’s Land?

“Don’t live in ‘No Man’s Land,’ that place where you’re not really happy, but you’re not unhappy enough to do anything about it. Don’t passively accept what comes your way; drive your life toward what you really want.” – Anthony Robbins

For years, I have been a positive thinker. To be honest, I’ve probably been a positive thinker my entire life. I just never found any value in focusing on negative things.

That said, I have had an epiphany these last few days and that is this: You can think positive thoughts and keep a positive mental attitude about life, but unless you are actively doing something to change things, unless you are going that extra mile, you’re just spinning your wheels and staying in place.

I read a quote yesterday that said something about a person not getting results and complaining they had been working for ten years toward a goal. Then someone stated that person had been doing the exact same thing over and over for ten years expecting a different result.

I have been in that place of telling myself I want a successful life. But I now realize I have been positively sitting back and expecting someone else to get it for me, namely my husband.

I’m not sure where my mindset came from. Maybe I read Cinderella too many times as a child, but as a stay-at-home mom, I had no income of my own and I have been dependent on my husband to bring in the finances for our family. When I would see other families doing so much better than we were, I would think, “What’s going on here? What are they doing that we’re not doing?” or even, “What’s wrong with him?”

But this week it finally hit me. You cannot make someone else successful. You can pray for them. You can encourage them. However, you cannot make them go that extra mile. You cannot force them to think positively.

If you want to be a successful person and have a successful life, it’s up to you to make it so. No one else can achieve your goals for you. You are going to have to take the bull by the horns and do the work yourself.

I have been blessed and happy to stay at home with my children for the last 16 years and for that I am truly grateful. I was content to stay at home and be a mother and support my husband in his endeavors, hoping and praying for his success. However, I am no longer going to sit on the sidelines. In short, it is not fair for me to expect someone else to get the things I want for me. I need to go out and get what I want myself.

If I want a better, healthier body, I cannot get someone to run every day for me. I have to put in the effort. I believe it is that way, or law, for everything in life.

If you want something, make the commitment to go out and get it. Don’t live vicariously through your husband’s (or wife’s or children’s) success.

Don’t settle for less than what you want. Go out and get success for yourself!

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