Sherry A. Phillips

Suspense Writer

Are you a Hot Mess Mom too?

Hot Mess Moms

Hanging out with my kids who don’t seem to mind having a Hot Mess Mom for a mother.

I’m a Hot Mess Mom. There, I said it.

You won’t find me heading up PTA meetings or volunteering to be a room mom. I’m not leading cub scout meetings in a cub scout uniform or baking perfect pumpkin cupcakes for my kids’ classroom “Fall Parties.”

Perfect Pumpkin cupcakes

Perfect Pumpkin Cupcakes for a fall party!

My house looks nothing like the dream homes I pin on Pinterest, nor do I scour the internet to find the perfect table scape for my next dinner party.

My kids are not dressed in the finest designer sportswear. I’m not helping them put together amazing and expensive science projects either.

My kids and I have a phrase we use for those perfect Pinteresty moms who always seem to have it together. Whether it’s their perfect Athleta outfit for dropping their kids off at school before heading to pilates or dropping off homemade gluten-free cookies and brownies at their kids soccer games (along with perfectly cut up organic orange slices and organic juice boxes).

Kate Gosselin

When a BWM becomes famous …

Basic White Mom. The area I live in is pretty densely populated with these seemingly perfect creatures.

About a week ago, I was looking at our local news feed on Facebook and they had a photo of two basic white moms (blond hair, perfectly coordinated exercise outfits, blond kids and coach purses) taken at a local Target. They had stolen, of all things, toothbrushes. Those brushes must have been the electric rechargeable variety, because those ladies stole a total of $600 worth of products!

The best comment beneath the story?

“If you’d just gone to Chik fil A down the street, I’m sure you would have caught them having lunch!”

Exactly!

That person knows. Chik fil A is THE Basic White Mom hangout!

But let’s face it, who doesn’t love Chik Fil A?

Dream White Kitchen

The Pinterest Dream Kitchen where BWM’s make their perfect pumpkin cupcakes.

I’m not tearing down Basic White Moms. I’m in awe of them. I find it fascinating that they are able to look great, have the perfect homes, dress their kids in immaculate clothes and get it all done on schedule.

Honestly, I don’t know how they do it. They obviously have more energy and motivation in that department than I do.

There are times I feel tremendous guilt for being a Hot Mess Mom. I’ve even told my kids, “I’m sorry you don’t have a Basic White Mom for a mother.”

Their response?

“That’s okay! You’re a Hot Mess Mom and we love you! Hot Mess Moms are waaaay more fun!”

Why do my kids think having a Hot Mess Mom is more fun? Maybe it’s the unpredictability of our roller coaster life that makes it seem fun. Maybe it’s because I think kids should be kids instead of having every hour of their day pre-planned and scheduled. It’s not unheard of for me to surprise my kids at school in the middle of the day to take them out for a picnic and a movie.

I remember years ago (okay, decades) talking to one of my friends and I said, “Why can’t I have just a normal everyday life like everyone else?” My friend looked at me and said, “You will never have a normal life. It’s not who you are.”

And she’s right. I have never been normal. I cannot count the times my mother said, “Why can’t you just be like everyone else? Why do you have to be so different?”

She wasn’t complaining. Well, maybe a little. I think she wanted me to be like my older cousins (who I adore and love so much). They lived normal lives. They got straight A’s in school, went to college, got married, had great jobs and had amazing kids who were athletes and straight A students themselves.

The infamous Hollywood Sign

The Infamous Hollywood Sign

It just wasn’t in me to do that. I was the student who went to the back of the classroom where the windows were, so I could sit in the sunshine and daydream. I was kid who was writing cartoons about my fellow classmates with thinly disguised pseudonyms instead of taking notes in history class. I was the girl who moved to California to pursue an acting career, then found out I really wanted to be a writer instead.

While my cousins were studying, I was more interested in reading Jackie Collins latest novel and finding out what gossipy tidbits Rona Barrett had for me.

I don’t know what other Hot Mess Moms’ stories are. Maybe their stories are similar to mine.

Whether you’re a basic mom or a hot mess, I know we’re all just doing the best that we can and that’s okay.

Have a blessed day.

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